Update: Language learning

News Update: Folks, I am safe. Those of you with mutual friends, we are all safe. It is indeed getting tense and scary at times and the action feels like it is often too close for comfort but we are all safe and sound and very alert of what's going on around us. (2300 hrs, 22 April 2010 local time)

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I am happy to report I made great progress in my Thai. In addition to having mastered "Taxi Thai" I now can say:
- Red Shirts,
- pink,
- black,
- yellow,
- protest,
- Suvarnabhumi airport,
- Ratchaparasong intersection,
- closed
 
flawlessly, to the point of almost perfecting the tonal nuances enough for people to think I'm Thai.

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In all seriousnes, I do not make light of the events going on in Bangkok. There's little I can say that you won't already read in the news. Like many Bangkok residents, I, we, are attempting to maintain some semblance of routine life, only in areas away from the protest and conflict activities. It's easy to get sucked into the sense of frustration but I find maintaining a sense of humor, a healthy Thai dosage of mai pen rai, and resisting the urge to judge is crucial to remain calm and objective as a non-participant. As I am no professional reporter or international affairs analyst, there's little I can contribute on this blog about the events surrounding me. I offer instead to continue catching up sharing observations, experiences from my time in this region.

ya think?

I got back home earlier this week after a three-week absence. I made an unusual daytime arrival, while the lobby is staffed with the receptionists. The lady at the desk sees me get out of the airport limousine. As I haul my two roller suitcases, one big tote carry on in addition to a backpack and purse, I find her waiting for me by the elevators, presumably to greet me.

Receptionist: Excuse me, Madam.
Me: Hello. Yes?
Receptionist: You ask about the satellite for your tv.
Receptionist: I try to call you many times but you don't pick up.
Receptionist: I think maybe you travel?

There are several English words that I hear the Thais use often. Finish is one. Maybe is the other. The Thais' frequent use of maybe struck me comical that moment as I stood there, laden with luggage. Really? Where did she think I was coming from then?

Pardon, I need to...

Learning foreign languages amuse me.. because, inevitably, I'm bound to run into a misunderstanding that it's too funny to not make.

This post: "Excuse me."

In Thai: kor tot ka/kap.

Except, if you don't pronounce "tot" right, it might come out as "todt" which means fart. I can't even hear the difference.

And I'm dying to see someone yell that while squeezing through a crowd.

Oi, mama mia

Someone tried to talk to me, presumably asking for directions. I replied with

"Dichan mai dis pasat thai."

Well, I guess I could say that I did say "I don't speak Thai." Except "dis" is speak in French. One one hand, I could be glad I still remember my French vocabulary and conjugations to blurt it out without thinking, but, seriously.

Crap. No, crab, I meant craB!

Another example why having bad hearing is not conducive to learning a foreign language:

Instructor: Bpõo
Me: (writing and muttering) bpõo
Me: (quizzical look)
Instructor: Crab
Me: (Incredulous) Crap?
Instructor: Chai. Crab.
Me (thinking: he just said crap!)
Instructor: bpõosidam
Me (really hung up on the fact that he said "crap"): bpõo. I'm going to remember this one!
Instructor: You like crab?
Me: Huh?

A..B..C..D..E...er, how many??

I took my Thai instructor by surprise when I plopped myself down in the classroom and started by saying I want to start learning how to read Thai. His surprise should have been clue number 1.

His reply: sure, why not? But, then he spent ten minutes shuffling around between the classroom and the office getting classroom materials together. Clue number 2.

Clue number 3. "Are you sure?"

Clue number 4. "Thai language. We have... (pause)" (takes out piece of paper and writes the number "44" down) ".. 44 letters. English, you have 26."

Clue number 5. "We also have 12 vowels."

Clue number 6. "We have long and short vowels."

Clue number 7. "Letters are middle, low, and high."

Clue number 8. "Some letters we don't use anymore. But it's still in the alphabet."

Clue number 9. "You need to start using a pencil instead of pen."

Clue number 10. "We don't have a specific order you have to memorize the alphabet."

Clue number 11. At the reception desk. "You should stick with just one instructor for this."

Clue number 12. "Make sure you do your homework."

I'm not quite sure what I got myself into. Oddly, I gleefully look forward to Thai classes more than ever now.

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postscript. There *is* an order to the alphabet. And the instructor's calculation of 44 did not include the vowels. The 44 are just consonants.

Khaa, continued

On Saturday's language lesson, the instructor was explaining to me that "Kha" at the end of the sentence primarily is to make the speaking polite.

So, in theory, I can politely say something like:

You f-ing s-hole, khaaa. (insert wide Thai smile here)

I think. I'll have to ask in my next class. Because I'll bet my next 40Baht meal that that's what a lot of Thais are saying to our farang backs. And perhaps wheedle K. Ake to start teaching me cuss words. That is when you know you're truly learning a language.

Ka, ka, ka, kap, ka, kaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

I've started tallying up the use/interpretation/meaning of "ka" or "kap"(used by men, the former by women). It's an one-word sentence that is the most prevalently heard expression.

So far, I've come up with:
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Bye.
- Sure.
- OK.
- Yes.
- I hear ya.
- I get it.
- I understand.
- I can do it.
- If you want.
- Fine.
- You're good to go.
- Sir/Madam (as in greeting)
- (grunt- as in acknowledgment)
- Alright. (as in, alright, alright, jeez!)
- Here.
- There.
- Whatever you say.
- Hey.
- I hear you.
- Yes, exactly.

Imagine.. not having all those options, and cutting down to a syllable. Kaaaa.

farangs, take two

I got scolded. I got scolded when I asked if there were any derogatory connotations in the word farang, like there is in a similar Taiwanese word.

Thais are positive, K. Ake, said. Kind, positive people. Not condescending people. Clearly he hasn't been exposed to many of my ancestry.

Clarifications:
farangs refer to white people, usually the stereotype of blond hair, blue eyes.
Africans are called kong dam, literal translation, black people.
Asians are kong asia, no further explanation needed.

Basically, most of the terminology refers to skin colour, as it was the way to classify people way back in the day. Because people have migrated around and a lot of western societies have become more multicultural, farang now has expanded to include anyone who is English-speaking.

Likewise, K. Ake acknowledged you won't hear many of the more educated Thais say kong dam because they know it can be taken poorly and perceived as offensive.

farangs

You've notice by now my frequent use of the word "farang." Which generally means foreigner. Or so I thought.

In class today, I was given the vocabulary word dtàang-châat which means foreigner.

So I asked if it was synonymous with farang. Mai chai. Farang refers to Westerners. Europeans, Americans. Dtàang-châat refers to foreigners in general.

I didn't clarify whether farangs were non-Asians, to include Africans and Latinos. I want to say it does, but I've already been proven wrong in my assumption.

It reminds me of the Taiwanese word huan-ah, meaning alien. More often than not, it is also used in a deragatory sense, a usage that has coloured my impression of the word farang. I recall a recent conversation with my mother on this topic when she referred to Thais as huan-ah.
Me: Thai people are considered huan-ah?
Mum: Yes.
Me: What about Japanese?
Mum: No.
Me: Why? There are more ethnic Chinese Thais!
Mum: It's just how it is.
Me: What about Koreans?
Mum: No.
Me: Phillipinos?
Mum: No.
Me: Malaysians?
Mum: Yes.
Me: Vietnamese?
Mum: No.
Me: Taiwanese?
Mum: Of course not.
Me: We have more Portuguese and Dutch blood!
Mum: It doesn't matter.
Me: I give up.

English cognates, sorta

A scene from my language class last weekend:

Me: How do you say 'night bazaar' in Thai?
Instructor: Ni(ght) bah-zaahr
Me: Chai. Night bazaar. What's the Thai word for it?
Instructor: Ni(ght) baah-zaaah-(r)
Me: Night bazaar. A night market. The one on Suan Luam.
Instructor: Ni(ght) baah-zaah-(r)
Me: No.
Instructor: Ni(ght) baah-zaah-(r)
Me: Seriously?
Instructor: Ni(ght) baah-zaah-(r)
Me: You've got to be kidding me. *sigh* (parroting) ni(ght) baah-zaah-(r)
Instructor: Chai!! Very good.

Renaissance Woman

There I was, on a Thai Airways flight to Taipei, on my way to visit relatives.

I had laid in front of me, a French newspaper, listening to Italian opera on my iPod, filling out an immigration form in English.

The attendants started distributing breakfast. When they reached me, I seized the opportunity to practice my Thai. I registered the first selection as "omlette" and the second I didn't make out. I asked "ruu mii arrai?" Repeated when the attendant gave me a blank face. And repeated. And repeated, after each attempt lacked a proper response.

I then looked down and realized she was the one Chinese-speaking attendant onboard.

Mental and patience exercise

I tried explaining to a store I wanted to exchange a defective item.

I don't have the skill to describe my experience. I think you all should just try it as well.

Lost in translation, part 48347593845734

I think this one tops most people's communication difficulties here in Bangkok.

Back on my first couple of weeks here, after I recovered from my cold well enough to start venturing out, I sought out the spas to try, and eventually pick for my weekly massages.

First one, next door, I dropped by to make an appointment. I should have known that something wasn't right when the receptionist didn't know the service menu in English.

Showed up the next day for my back massage. Couldn't understand why she wanted me on my back first. I figured maybe she was starting with a scalp and neck massage.

After eliciting a big "O" and squeal from me, the masseuse administered a full body massage on me.

Thai, 101 True Beginner

The next eight weeks or so, my focus is going to be on kick-starting my learning Thai. It's been almost a month and a half and I barely mastered the greeting.

My first class was this morning, for about 90 minutes. And the class started like this:

Teacher comes in with a piece of paper with notes on it. Confirms that I am Khun Jane.
Teacher: Dichan chûui ...
Teacher: Dichan Naam-sa-gun...
Me: *slack jaw*
Teacher: Dichan chûu dtor-pak.
Me: (figuring I could at least repeat) Dichan chûu dtor-pak/
Teacher: Mai, mai.....

Teacher: Khun Phɔɔ` Khun Mêe bpen-khon thai
Teacher: ..chɔɔb....
Teacher: Khun yùu thîi ...
Teacher: Khun tham-ngaan thîi nai?

*sigh* I'm contemplating revising my goal...