service, right in your parking lot

My car has been dead for six months.. almost seven now that I think about it. The battery was at the end of its life, 7 years old perhaps? Compounded by the fact that I have the sense to not drive often in traffic clogged Bangkok, the battery died.

I don't know why I waited so long to get it replaced. It started out with my waiting for a period of time when I'd actually remain in Bangkok long enough to take the car out and keep it running once the battery is replaced. Then deciding that I was simply too busy to leave work in the middle of the day and choosing to wait until the level of activity died down. Between the two excuses, time just flew.

My time in Thailand has taught me two things. Service here makes life either very easy or very difficult. The car I anticipated to be difficult so I avoided dealing with it.

I was so wrong. It couldn't have been easier. I notified the front desk this morning, asking them to call a tow company to take the car to the mechanic. The receptionist blew a raspberry and asked if I was sure it was just a dead battery. Positive. I even took out the multimeter to test the voltage. In that case, she said, show the building engineer the car and wait upstairs for a phone call.

Five minutes later, I was called back town. Two men showed up on a motorcycle, with two boxes stacked between them. 3,000 baht and ten minutes later, my car's lights lit back on as I started the engine. Despite the fact that one man was mute and the other didn't speak a lick of English and thought repeating and yelling would make me understand better. I procrastinated six months dreading what again?

Just don't use the word "alarm"

A colleague called in late this morning, confessing to having forgotten to set his alarm clock last night. Too amused to let him get away with it, I composed a list of

10 Better Excuses for Why You are Late

- The A/C broke down and I had to take three Benadryl pills to pass out in the heat.
- I was rowing down the klong to work when I got swamped by a speeding fishtail boat's wake.
- The BTS was held up by a royal motorcade.
- The taxi took me to the wrong place way out of town.
- Unexpected visitors knocked on the door at 3am.
- The motorcycle taxi tried to overcharge me and I had to hide until tempers settled down.
- The water pipe burst and no one would come until 10am.
- My last fish died and I had to bury it.
- The maid accidentally threw out the fish and I had to dig it out of the trash.
- My soi flooded and no one could get in or out.

Sadly, each of these can and have happened to many of us. As for the fish, it's an inside joke- he bought a whole school of fish in a baggie in the market and most died within a couple of weeks. He's down to his last original one right now.