My whole evening's mental puzzle

I spent the last hour in what would have otherwise been a good foot massage session trying to figure out the gender of my masseuse.

Nick and Baby Bro came up with the term "shim" while they were traveling throughout Asia earlier this year. They use it for people whose gender they truly cannot determine. Not because of the prevalence of sex change operations in Thailand but because of the tendency for a lot of young women in Asian countries to dress boyishly. Oddly, to an American frame of mind, the clothing choice has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

I had a shim for a masseuse tonight. Dressed in a loose striped buttoned shirt and cargo shorts, the individual struck me as male at the first glance. But when a couple other customers were leaving, my masseuse spoke up, thanking them for their business. The high tones of the speaker surprised me and got me puzzling for the remainder of the session.

I kept peeking out of my drooping lids when my masseuse's head was down, focused on massaging my feet. Small boned, definitely thinner than me, but that's not unusual for Thai men (not so great for my body image). Smooth smaller hands than normally expected from a man, Thai or otherwise. Yet definitely has more strength than a majority of the women who have given me massages.

It wasn't until after we were done and I watched the masseuse move around the shop to prepare my post-massage tea that the light bulb went on in my head. He had the jerky and energetic motions of a teenager. Yep, a teenager whose voice either hasn't fully changed.

I always knew it was only a matter of time before I might receive a massage from a katoey- I may already have and didn't know it. But I never ever expected to get one from a child.

Happy Happy

It's only fair that I set the record straight, instead of leaving my public questioning of a business's reputation, well, questioned.

I am happy to report that that Happy Massage I mentioned in an earlier post was, in fact, legitimate. It was a package of two massages, a back and neck and a Swedish combo or something along those lines.

Nice to know, because I rather like that place and still recommend it to people.

What does happy mean?

We had visitors in town and I took it upon myself to play hostess. We three ladies went to a rather high end spa, one that doesn't feel like a sweatshop massage parlor where sweaty tourists are packed in like a can or sardines. One with a zen ambiance and a reputable interior and service.

Between the three of us, we got a Royal Thai Massage, a Swedish Massage, and a Back and Neck Stress Relief Massage. The girl and I, having the latter two, got our first. We dragged our jelly-like bodies into the lobby, where our three pairs of shoes sat waiting. As we approached the counter, we noticed four service bills sitting, ready for payment. We picked out ours, labeled by massage service, paid, and went to the couch with straight faces.

Without a word, we both made a dash for the service menu sitting on the coffee table. We looked to see if the fourth bill, written "Happy Massage" was on the menu.

Nada.

Then we looked up as an attendant came out, bringing out a fourth pair of shoes for a finishing customer. It was a worn pair of man's sandals.

Exchanging a look, we bolted out of the lobby, not wanting to be caught staring at the mystery man when he came out.

Now, we need to find a male volunteer to go in, straight-faced, and request how much and how long the "Happy Massage" is.